i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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