Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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