If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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