I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
