Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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