I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
