Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
