Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
