i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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