I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
