I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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