He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
