shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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