I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I've blown a few things in my day
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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