i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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