can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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