just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
