so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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