even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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