I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
