i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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