Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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