i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
