No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
