Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Alive.
So much puke
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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