She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
as a side note pls kill me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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