so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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