So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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