kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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