yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
