I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im about as happy as oj after his trial
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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