I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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