I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
