Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
