Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There's always time for handjobs
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
