I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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