I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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