Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
