My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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