He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize