why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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