He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
please come you make the beer taste better
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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