What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
