i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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