i dont even know how to be here
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
