C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
