she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is wine microwaveable?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
