plz talk dirty to me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
