I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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