But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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