youre lurking in front of me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
