Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is Oprah even human
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
