I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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