I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Michael Bay diarrhea
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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