woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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