thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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