Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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