I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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