Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
