I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
