I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
