So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
