no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
