Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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