Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
