while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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