You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
