Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
