I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
