I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
